I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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