im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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