His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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