So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize