i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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