Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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