I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
