i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
