it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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