Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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