some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I got inside last night via doggy door
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize