So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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