This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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