I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
