it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I AM VODKA MAN
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
