We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize