you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize