The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
