I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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