Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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