He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
