i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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