nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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