i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just googled if crying burns calories
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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