You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
