Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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