Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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