I looked at my own cervix.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
