just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize