K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
