Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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