he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
