he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
