Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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