I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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