if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
