Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
