Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i dont even know how to be here
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
