my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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