UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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