I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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