You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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