I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
