when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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