well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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