I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
