O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
