coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
