I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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