Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
