I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
