The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
