yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We're too hungover to prance.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
