Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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