bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
even my farts smell like vagina
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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