Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
