I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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