well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
