And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize