So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think pants incapable of making pants work
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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