need another drink. this is the easiest way
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
