And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
