So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
