How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
