Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
