I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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