You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
