D3 body, D1 cock
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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