Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize