i just had sex bonerless
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
