i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
