The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
