I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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