I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
